This is some kinda requested blog folks. And also dedicated for those who think their partners care less about their relationship.A blog extension of my entry before : "Stone-Cold Romeo and Unaffectionate Juliet".
We often stumble over this word "effort" when we talk about relationships. So, what exactly is real effort done for a bond's staying power? It's so much harder when one is involved in an LDR. Differences in time zones, different schedules, lack of eye contact (real one that is) to gauge if what one's saying is sincere, lack of physical touch among others. Though some are used to just hugging their computer screens, sometimes "kissing" it too.(though it doesn't necessarily mean I do these things peeps! Oops!) :P Some of you may have, come on, admit it! LOL
There are a number of girls that I chat to, talk to who complain about their bf's exertions. That her bf is "effortless" not unlike her doing all that there is to make the relationship work out and all that. That he isn't making enough sacrifices to prove his love for her.That her bf has other "priorities" in life as of the moment and that isn't being a good lover.That her bf is still immature and needs some growing up to be able to handle the relationship well.Blah ,blah, blah ...
At what point or what age can a man be called MATURED anyway ?Dissing men again here? Nope for this can also be directed to women who are in a lady's body but who have the mind of a 16 yr. old. :P Who give their men and much as other people headaches by being so childish. Tantrums here, tantrums there.Those who make their men crazy by always engaging them into "guessing games". (though I know by nature women, tend to be like that)
The efforts done in a relationship works both ways. It's a two-way traffic like they say. Stated also in a popular quote, " It takes two to tango!" How can you dance the night away with a sweet music on all by yourself?When it's just you doing the works and all? There could be varied and valid reasons sometimes your partner falters. At times, it's not about neglecting ones obligations but rather lack of proper and open communication between the two of you.
Have you set certain "rules" early on before committing yourselves to one another or after you were "officially" a couple? Or is it that what you have was just a rush of raging emotions that time, got yourselves involved right away without having so much thought as to what you have gotten yourself into?
What are examples of efforts and sacrifices of those in an LDR? I can name some below :
@ Setting up a scheduled time for a quality chat/talk when both are free even if from different time zones.Even if its the wee hours of the night, you have to be up and wait for him/her to get online for the designated time you have set up. Even if it's 2am in your man's time, he fights his sleepiness just to be with you. Even if it's already midnight in your lady's time and she has to get up early at 4am for work, it is still fine with her.Or the like.
@He is very sick and yet decides to be online like he promised you last time.Even if he can't hardly type or talk, just the thought of being with you gives him strength.
@He sends you sweet messages every now and then to surprise you and letting you know he misses you and always affirms his love for you.The girls should do this, too. It works wonders in your relationship!
@He/she calls you every now and then, too.It's far different from the voice chat you have everyday.
@You give yourselves some tokens to let the other feel your love. They need not be overly expensive. At times, e-cards, greeting cards, post cards and some little stuffs can make your lover's heart melt!
@ Sticking to his promises though at times they have memory gaps. LOL And needed to be reminded my gosh! :P
@ Giving up his favorite TV show, past time just so he can talk to you online and the like.
and many other more ones how effort is manifested.
There are different ways people show their feelings and prove their love to their significant others. Others are demonstrative while others you might call stone-cold. But it doesn't necessarily mean they care less about you. They can show in their own individual ways. But it's a different story if one doesn't exert effort even if a little for your relationship - it might be heading down the drain so you better talk it out.