The Fearless Wordsmith

The  Fearless Wordsmith
The Master's Princess of Words

The Fearless Wordsmith

Welcome to my blog site my constant readers!

This site's name is a combination of the titles of my two books "Seasons of Emotions" and "Inner Reflections of the Muse". "Looking For Your Half-Orange?" was the original title which had to be reconstructed.

Read posts about life, love and relationships straight from the fearless wordsmith's mouth!

A joyous reading escapade peeps!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Loving the Imperfect

This entry is inspired by Sam Keen's, author of Fire in the Belly, infamous quote "You come to love not by finding a perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly!". 

I chanced about a video posted on one social networking site of a funeral ceremony (this might sound absurd), how the wife of the deceased in  what seems to be a eulogy far different from the usual ones we hear and witness, described her "imperfect relationship" with her husband. The fights they had, the petty indifferences and perennial arguments; his disgusting ways but in the end she said that she had come to love him more despite of these imperfections. For he taught her how it is to truly accept and love a person authentically.

Maybe this goes hand in hand with what we call loving unconditionally. We do not just love the person merely because of his good qualities but as well as his frailties and obnoxious ways.

Sticking by your significant other even after seeing him go through his worst state could well be a sign of real love and commitment. No one was born perfect in this world and so one may find his/her "ideal girl/boy" in the shadow of someone but as time goes by, they would truly discover each other's quirks and annoying habits. We must then ask ourselves if we can tolerate  or hold on to such indifferences long after the all-mushy honeymoon stage is over.

A couple must work through a relationship's varied turmoils, turbulence, disputes, dilemmas, detours in their otherwise wondrous if not a romance in utopia. 

God created  us humans with complex personalities so each individual is born unique with innate craziness and irksome habits. ( A "perfect" person cannot even be made by the best app maker) Head on collisions between couples, like a grill sand in their relationship may promise  exquisite pearls of traits such as PATIENCE, PERSEVERANCE and PEACE. No relationship  is perfect  either and like a tandem bicycle in a box, each is left unassembled. The couple involved must work on it as a "team" despite each other's foibles. 

Let me end up this post with another quote now from  Jane Austen : " Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for each other. "

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Long Life Commitment and Total Commitment

This post is long been overdue I know but had to attend to some matters first so draft was left behind but then here I am now in the office having this lil’ break and so I opted to finish this entry once and for all. Smile Entry first appeared in one dating site.

I dropped by our city’s cathedral one morning after work and witnessed a wedding ceremony going on. The priest’s sermon was about long life commitment and total commitment in this generation wherein he branded as “ an age allergic to the word COMMITMENT!” Smile

I’m what you may call a perennial wedding spectator - sometimes I get all dreamy imagining it’s finally me and my Prince, me walking down the aisle with my flowing pink terrain and my dashing groom awaiting for me at the grandiose altar wearing a wide smile. (maybe that’s why some “creeps” branded me as “delusional” LOL Tongue Tongue Well, I can utterly say with conviction, I’m saner than you and at least I know what’s REALLY going on since it’s MY life)Wink Happy Yep, I have witnessed numerous couples tying the knot that I can compare one nuptial ceremony to the other one and can even enjoy listening to their choices of wedding songs. We might have our unique and rare ceremony one day soon and break away from the traditional one or could add more “spices’ to make ours even more special. Smile Tongue

There are those who are “commiphobics” – disgusted at the mere thought of being attached emotionally . ( I composed a separate blog about this before) They hold back even if they know in their hearts someone could well be a prospective love or the Right One for them. Traumatized by a string of failed relationships from the past maybe or afraid of committing one’s self to just one?? ( a “happy go lucky” living in the moment or a hustler at that) Could there exist one who is afraid of risking? Or one who would rather have a “variety” of choices likened to a menu before he can finally have the guts to just select a “special “one? (The answer: yes there are an awful lot out there) Tongue

Some might even break away from a blossoming prospective love thinking they would just fail or screw it up in the process. Issues with one’s self, fears, phobia, trust issues, you name it. Call that backing off early so as to avoid future heartaches. Smile ( So do these peeps need some " home health care services" for their "illnesses" ?)

So what exactly did the priest mean when he said a couple who faced before God on the altar in this sacred sacrament of matrimony, should have a long life commitment and total commitment towards each other? (in this case, a Catholic ceremony) Marriage is not just a single contract on paper a couple could easily discharge of (especially here in the Philippines since we don’t have divorce). Before deciding to commit one’s self to another, one must truly be sincere with all of his heart if he really wants to spend his life with another. How can one be sure you might ask? We wouldn’t know of course unless we try, right? No one can ever play it safe or be overly cautious ‘cause life itself is a gamble I believe. But things do happen along the way in any relationship and there goes the existence of irreconcilable differences leading to separation and/or painful divorces. 

To love is a decision itself and being susceptible to risks that goes along with it when you do get involved with someone – the responsibilities of having a family and growing old together even though there would come a time both of you would abhor the mere sight of each other, have lingering petty quarrels of sorts. Smile

Yes, these happen as I have observed with my own parents and the others. ( I even composed a blog “Does Love Fade As Couples Get Older” before) LOL But still they choose to stick together though they aren’t that candy sweet to each other like before when they were younger all because of COMMITMENT. They have weathered every storm that has passed them by as they graciously welcome their twilight years and have proven that if a couple is truly COMMITTED, their marriage couldn’t be easily toppled down by any “slight” turbulence disguised as trials experienced in any relationship. Maybe that is where the infamous line in the wedding vow “’til death do us part” comes in. Smile

A tough question could be well maybe : Are you ready to commit yourself? Tongue

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Chaser and the Waiting Heart

In an ever changing world such as ours, every little thing evolves and as we all know, change is the only thing that is constant.  Conservative ideas may still linger though much have been turned around because of liberalism and this thing about equality among men and women. Such a controversial if not one heated argumentation that has gone down to history. How much has changed though on what men and women can and cannot do?

Oops, this ain’t supposed to be a nose-bleed entry though. This post has something to do with the born hunter, the chaser specie and the chased, the waiting heart. 

How many have been riding along this waiting game for ages or hoping against hope that the apple of her eye would glance her way in one way or the other if not turn his head  for a nano second and have a look at her alluring beauty? Or at least notice that she this awesome personality and not just a sexy  body to die for? This is just for starters but when he has somewhat began rolling down the ball and suddenly disappears from nowhere, the poor girl would then be left bewildered if not get caught up in a dilemma of whether she has initiated some wrong moves that triggered for him to walk away or whatever lies behind his  MIA ( missing in action) status.

"Men are still the born hunters and chasers gals..let him chase you not the other way around :) just a thought for those who are in the waiting game..."He's a man. And men are designed to go after what they *know* they want."

 More on this from Aileen Santos of Relationships and Life ReInvention Counseling here in the Philippines.

I chanced upon this status in a social networking site and thought of incorporating it into my blog here.
Here it goes :

“Dear Waiting Heart:  

If he misses you, he'll get in touch with you.

He *will.*

Whether or not he's busy. Whether or not he's changed his SIM & lost your phone number. Whether or not blah blah blah (insert whatever excuse you've made up for him here).

He's a man. And men are designed to go after what they *know* they want.

Just observe them.

When they want that promotion, they learn & do what needs to be done. When they're into a tv series, they'll find out how to download it and store it in a safe, acid-free place (next to the action figure still in mint condition inside the box). When they need to get to a tv set at a certain time to watch that epic boxing match, they find a way to make it happen.

So if he doesn't get in touch with you, he's not thinking about you.

Accept that, and move on with your life based on that.

If he's thinking about you but hasn't gotten in touch with you because he has intimacy issues / rejection issues / (insert other excuses you've made up for him here), then just be glad you're not his therapist or his mother (because you're not).

Move on, find a Man (not a therapy patient, or a little boy), and free yourself from this waiting.

Life is out there. And so is Love. :-) Be available to it this 2012. “

The post merely states about the dilemma of a girl waiting in vain since it is common knowledge that we women - SHOULD be the one to wait and suffer it's torment.  ( oops, panic if not frantic reactions from guys could pop in anytime I guess, but as always in my blogs, they are welcome! )

Men are always complaining that their gfs/wives often leave them  guessing why they are receiving cold treatment from them in some given situations and that they are not like Superman who can decipher (unless maybe you will get help from a photo canvas servicewhat's going on inside women's heads. Well, women aren't mind readers too or psychics (though we have this intuitive gifts) and in case you don't know, when guys give us attention, we feel as though something "special" is going on between the two of us. So better  be blunt or upfront would be the more appropriate term for this about your true intentions.Our neurons are wired differently and that's the way is it.

Don't keep us "hanging" in the midst of these illusions that there could be a bright future for both of us. At least we will have this inkling that it would be bleak or not worth the time to waste for. We could take it from there and move on to our next prey. ( yeah, easier said than done, ey?)

To women : No matter  how much you are itching to dial his number, buzz his messenger a gazillion times, leave offline messages of undying professions of love and longing after days of him going MIA, get a-hold of yourselves first and give him space. Don't throw yourselves at him too strongly or you'll scare him off to bits or worst is brand you as a stalker of sorts and stuffs. (yes, some out there of their species are fond of seeing/knowing the girl is going after them, feeds their egos). When he had this time to think it over, he will ring you, he will make the move unexpectedly if he REALLY WANTS you.

A good number still want to do the preying and the hunting, they were born to do those things! (though some you have to poke hard to initiate the moves and it was discussed in one of my blogs in the past "How To Poke A Slow Poke Dude") 

Another thing girls, a friendly advice : "Don't be overly assuming! " Know if the guy just wants to be friends or just playing around or is commophobic still (afraid of commitment) and know when to take it to the next level.But how would we know which is which you might ask me? I guess this was discussed in previous blogs before or I can post again about these topics then.