No two individuals are alike and expect when you get involved in a relationship to have a clash of personalities once in a while. There are couples whose attitudes complement each other well while some thrive on working out their differences for the good of their relationship.
You could raise your eye brows in knowing that some couples fight over teeny weeny things. A relationship has its ups and downs and it's a matter of learning how to make compromises and having good open communication to keep a rock solid bond. Think about this too - it could be pretty boring if your partner is always uttering YES to you, it's like he/she doesn't have a mind of her/his own and is merely a "sponge" or acting like one just to please you and avoid disagreements.More like you are talking to a "wall paper" then.
Is there such a thing as a healthy fight? Don't wait 'til petty stuffs and even minor arguments escalate into something deeper and serious. Keep your fights in perspective and you can keep your relationship steady. Below are some tips I've gathered :
1. Don't be accusatory. Ditch the "you" statements and replace it with "I". Instead of saying "You made me feel uncomfortable with what you've said. ", you can say "I'm not comfortable with what you've said." Choose your words carefully so as not to provoke an even bigger argument out of a small one. Like making a mountain out of a mole hill. In addition to this, if it's just a one-time mistake, ask yourself if it's gonna be a big deal or if you can just shrug it off and just move on.
2. Embrace your differences and once in a while clashes. Both of you like anyone else is in this planet is entitled to your own opinion on certain matters, so don't expect that you will always be in the same level or "wave length". Respect each other's views and agree to disagree.
3. Keeping "peace' during a fight. While having an argument with your significant other, you can shoot in a lot of questions but don't ever cut your partner out of your discussion or the more tension would be building up between the two of you. Remember you're "team mates" and so reference yourselves as a couple. Use "we" to appear to be a united front.
4. See the bigger picture. Analyze thyself why are you really irritated with your bf/gf. It is better not to argue about incidents like the cancellation of a date but then the truth of the matter is you are in doubt if the other is losing interest in the relationship. (to some this is a big deal for them and so they readily pick up a fight with their lovers) Paranoia causes this and I know for a fact, we women are often guilty of this.
There are other bigger issues you should be working on as a couple like fidelity and trust issues, family even financial among other things.
There are other times you're having a truly bad day at work and home or it's like you're waiting for an insurance claim or government grants for the longest time leaving you grumpy and turning your rants/nagging towards your partner heating up an argument which is also not healthy.
While the other is venting out his disappointments, the other should just listen first.If you've been together for quite a while, you should have known your lover's personality and how he deals with frustrating situations, it would be easier for you to calm him down.