As the old adage says, "Experience is the best teacher" and one actually being in that toughest of situations can relive in his memory the most vivid of scenes the rest of his life. Time heals but I guess it will not simply erase the memory of how painful it used to be. No matter how long time ago it was, time won't let you forget
the struggle of overcoming such physical, emotional or psychological pain inflicted on you.
For every scar, there was suffering. For every suffering and grieving, there are corresponding stories behind those anguish, the desperate cries and longing for loved-ones lost separated by either life's circumstances or worst is by death. The pain caused losing someone by death is graver than just physical separation from another person whom you know still breathes life. At least he is still there and anytime you can still see and call and speak to him. But when one is the afterlife already, no matter if you have a backup cell phone, you can't hear his voice anymore, can't touch him once more and just hope you meet again one day in heaven.
In losing a loved-one, each has his own coping mechanism. While some may go through their lives normally, deep inside they grieve out of other's sight and carry on with their daily routines for life still goes on. Some others succumb to depression and desolation, self-pity as if it's the end of the world when one leaves them. They cannot function well at work, may become a nuisance or worst is they might not have the drive to live anymore out of their lonely state.
The grieving or mourning stage maybe the worst part for it may sap the energy out of you when you give in to your emotions but is necessary to go through this phase before quickly moving on to the next. At times when I go through losing someone, I wish to just skip the in-between stages so I can move on in a fast phase but then how can my "wound" heal properly if I just pretend that I am already OK, alive and kicking once more?
Now my family's wound is but still "fresh" with the sudden loss of our dear father Roberto but it has made us stronger than before with God's grace as braver souls have we become facing the tragedy together that has befallen us.
I guess it will take years to heal this kind of wound that can leave the deepest scar in our entire lives, losing a prominent figure in our family. Along with my grieving, is the denial phase when at times I still can't get myself to believe that my dear Dada has really left us but I know all of these shall come to pass. Yes, a scar would then emerge from the wound but even if that scar shall have to peel itself over in due time, he would always be remembered and will always have a space in my heart.
