A Beautiful Mind

This ain't about the film starring Russel Crowe but rather about one's intelligence that can either attract or intimidate even the toughest of hearts.

Don't you love it when your partner is gifted with a beautiful mind? Or do you make such a great fuss if she can outsmart you in some ways? Maybe some men get intimidated with intelligent women when they cross paths and easily drop off any interests they might  be harboring once they learn she's smart alecky.

I guess some men still want to have greater grey matters between their ears  than their lady loves, call that male ego or something. But I'm not in any way generalizing since we have our own preferences and pet peeves, just merely pouring out my thoughts on this matter.

In my earlier posts, I asked if men get intimidated with women they like and how do they handle intimidating ones they meet. Based on my observations, own experiences and as experienced by my friends, intimidating women are  the ones most likely to have difficulty in finding their matches.

To men : Intimidating ladies don't bite and they are humans too like you with some insecurities hidden (somewhere in self storage software) within  themselves.

It can also be that a girl possesses a strong personality and may not be that intelligent but speaks her mind that some would be having second thoughts of approaching her, afraid of being rejected or be punched on.

A friend's ex boyfriend told her that  he fell in love with her mind (she's a poet) and not physically-wise.Can we just fall in love with one's intelligence without any physical attraction?

What to you, is someone who has a beautiful mind? One who always see the world in red-colored glasses or one who always say "YES"  to you  and doesn't even mind being branded a wall flower as long as she's always agreeing with what you are saying ? (Would you like one who mimics you or one who is likened to a parrot with automatic recorded replies you like  hearing each time? )

Who likes a boring partner anyways? It can be that one is just an introvert but has actually great ideas kept in his mind, just needs pushing so he can come out of his shell. I believe we like to have great exchange of meaningful if not scholarly convos with our significant other once in a while and also have moments of  being goofy to spice things up a bit.

My Coney Island Ice Cream Memoirs of Childhood

      They say that writers have vivid memories and wild imaginations. “A writer remembers.” Every minute details of days gone by are all kept intact in our minds. What were my earliest memories? Though years have come and passed me by, my childhood days are still worth reminiscing. Born to a simple yet loving family, as the eldest child, I’ve experienced to play all by myself with no steady playmates to stay. I was confined in my solitary world for four years after which my sister was born. I  can still remember, up to this very minute I can picture myself playing in our yard near a mango tree- an old mango tree, digging the soil, talking to my “imaginary” friend at that time while Mom is busy cooking in our kitchen. That tree is my “tree”. (No need to look up on free home listings, it's right there out our yard) It has witnessed how I grew up and withstood many storms in this lifetime. At that time our house was built inside a yard full of different trees and there were even stories of supernatural creatures that came through the darkness at night but unlike other kids my age, I simply ignored them. 

     A tough, brave kid you might say as haunting stories like that don’t readily scare me but rather I fancy them as I weave wild imaginations of other beings that lived around our house. My “tree” they said was inhabited by a half-horse, half-human creature from the underworld! No, he cannot possibly own my tree! There might be giants there lurking in the dark night on a full moon and vampires roaming around searching for their preys. And so, that is how I came to love Stephen King!

       Some nights, my sister and I would sneak on the bed with our father as he tells us stories about his own childhood spent in the countryside. My dad is really my first storyteller and up to this day, he loves it when his children listen to whatever story he unfolds.

       How I also missed going to the carnival with my family during my primary school days. Right after we buy jumbo hotdog waffles and delicious Coney Island chocolate ice cream! (anybody here who’s familiar with Coney Island ice cream?) Those were the days…embedded in my heart, sweet memories I can go back to from time to time. Memoirs I can even tell to my future children and maybe grandchildren as well in the future.I’m gonna be the storyteller by then.

Going Gaga Over Sponge Bob

  “Are you ready kids?” “Aye, aye captain!” What are the things running through a child’s mind while watching cartoons on TV? Well, I was an avid fan of the muppets and characters of Sesame Street, Astro Boy, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite when I was a kid. Fairytale characters, Snow White, fascinates me as well as Sleeping Beauty and the quests of their Prince Charmings to get through them. But at the time, I don’t mind them sharing the same “Prince Charmings”. (So, how come their true loves are called “Prince Charming”, is he the same guy?) Those were the days when cartoons are “tamed”, sweet and with happy endings.

     Nowadays the trend is kinda different with “weirder” characters, their appearances not necessarily the conventional pretty and handsome faces but rather out of this world. Think of Shrek, he is loved by many though he’s not gifted physically.

    Can you imagine yourself living in Bikini Bottom? Inside a pineapple house? I don’t know when did the craze over Sponge Bob began and what makes it tick to children and why they simply adore him. Other characters you would find having outrageous looks are: Patrick Star, Sponge Bob’s kinda “naïve” bestfriend; Squidwort, the hot-tempered co-worker and neighbor; Mr. Crabs, the boss of Crabby Patty with Gary, the cat-sounding snail pet of Sponge (why “cat-sounding” you might ask me. Well, he says “Mawww” and do snails sound like this?)

     Sponge Bob didn’t appeal to me for a long time not because I got over watching things just for kids only but then I didn’t really get to notice him until my very own niece introduced him to me. You might laugh at me if you’ll learn that I find myself anticipating seeing him everyday as my niece sets herself up in front of the TV every afternoon. Well, there’s something in him that I find cute and amazing coz maybe of his childlike innocence and looking at the bright side of things, forgiving  those who do him wrong and being a good ‘ol pal to his best friend whatever happens. It was 4 years ago that he became a star in my article entitled “Of Sponge Bob and Leadership” listing the traits he possesses that can be the same good qualities of being a good leader. ( He has certain " quirks" that can topple down even great leaders as I have mentioned in my article and won't even need free classifieds to search for work - he is one indispensable employee! Now, that's another story.)

Girly Traits That Drive Men Away

It is a known fact that men simply adore us women. But there could be some behaviors we exhibit that might drive them away. In moderation, it's ok but taken into extreme can absolutely turn your guys off.

Here are some girl quirks  that can drive your men insane.

1. Pessimistic Jane - Complaints, rants once in a while is but fine. But whining all the time would drive your man and even good friends away. Who would want to be around a whiner anyways?

2. Amanda the Nagger - Tell me about someone who loves naggers. When it is simply annoying being nagged by our Mom's when we were kiddos, why would men want to hang around with someone who does the same thing too when we've grown up? Often badgering about things make them rebel more instead of doing things properly or faster. (I know nagging is innate in us women, but you're his gf/wife NOT his Mom.) And also, you're not his Master/boss who can always pick on lousy maid service he offers.

3. Indecisive Amy - Women are known to change minds faster than a speeding bullet but men don't like last minute dropping of plans. They would wonder if you're really interested in them if you can't constantly make up your mind.

4. Insecure  Jenny - They say that "confidence is sexy". ( Just don't overdose on it, too though) and lacking in it ain't pretty, too. It's not healthy comparing yourself to other people and not having enough faith in yourself.

5. Childish Farah - Showing your inner brattness could be very annoying to men. The same with having tantrums when you can't win in argument with him or can't have your way on things you want. Actually, being too childish ain't cute, honey.

Is Our Longing For Love A Sign Of Desperation?

Is our longing for love a sign of desperation? Desperation to be with the One intended for us, the one whom we want to share our lifetime with together?It is but human nature to feel this emptiness when we haven't find our true love yet for ages while the others are already coupled up and cooing sweet nothings to each other in front of us.:) Oh, get real! ( we can even find this in ringcentral reviews, kidding)We feel envious of course despite all the denials!

As a modern woman who can be independent and take care of one's self, you can't deny the fact that there are things you secretly wish for in life. (this is not just for women though). :) We may say that we can feel complete without a partner for our happiness isn't dependent upon another person. We try not to be defined or gauged on based on our relationship status.

But once we are within the comforts of our homes, at the four corners of our humble abode, we secretly hope for our ONE TRUE LOVE! :) Even the most accomplished, the woman/man with a strong personality is still hoping againts hope of being in a loving relationship! To have someone to grow old with like Adam Sandler's song Grow Old With You :) To be with someone who will accept us despite our fragilities, frailties and tantrums.

We feel this longing not out of our weaknesses or desperation but it's encoded within our blue print because we are HUMAN!

There is a time for everything under the sun though. Young ones mustn't rush themselves in finding themselves lifetime partners when a lot is still in store for them. When you get past the age of 30's or 40's maybe that calls for a little desperation. Just kidding!

Young ones and for those who are actively searching your TRUE LOVE is just right around the corner! A matter of time, chance or luck or whatever you call it, the One will arrive.

Despite love's complexities and fragilities, true love still exists! Just give a look at your parents who grew old together. Those old couples who remained sweet beyond their years, wrinkles and all that.

To accompany this blog below is a link to a song by Peter Gabriel, Book Of Love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2j4lA-E7Vc&feature=related

Happy reading!

*** blog pic courtesy of my bf's Wedding Photography Works

A View To A Kill (Crimes Of Passion)

You might ask what prompted me to write a topic such as this...well series of news stories on  the boob tube,online and on paper on murders and suicides made me to blog about this social issue that's been sadly occurring at different parts of the world.

What entices one to commit such a  heinous act like suicide and murder? Crimes of passion - they are all over the newspaper nowadays.Recently, a  horrible occurrence in the Philippines left us dumbfounded when two teenage boys were killed/had suicide inside a mall - one killing the other then afterwards ended his dear, young life, too.There were even widespread rumors circulating that they were a homosexual couple. One possessing firearm inside the mall premises is also quite baffling since we know they implement strict security measures  before customers  can enter the mall. Well, that's another story. 

In Korea, as narrated by my students and as I have read, a lot of youngsters commit suicide because of pressure from school and/or not living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers. Not only do teenagers commit such a crime but even adults, even famous celebrities do so. One, having ended his life because of what the Netizens posted online degrading him and leaving stains on his reputation. Another  one actor in a famous love drama series and a good actor to boot, upon learning that his father was diagnosed as having cancer suddenly said bye-bye to the world by killing himself first. (my eyes rolling) Such a wasted life!

A similar committal of suicide left our neighborhood in sheer horror years ago, when one of the teeners shot himself right on his chest when he wasn't able to bear all those hurts and problems burdening him inside! To think that he's so young way back then and a promising future is ahead of him still. A major reason - he was neglected by his parents. Such as sad affair.Goosebumps on my skin and all hairs standing once I recall what had happened to the life of the poor boy.

Crimes of passion as experts say are causes of raging,  sudden outbursts of emotions out of anger, loss or guilt. Depression coming from personal problems, pressure from work, at home and in school are major culprits.Low anxiety level people normally have suicidal thoughts more often if they are left with no hope and all else seems gray and negative. They want to escape from this world thinking all problems would just go away if he makes his exit. (Do they even thought about that it's an act of selfishness on their part leaving their loved-ones just like that? )  

As for the youngsters, could it be a cause of alarm for parents and the rest of their family members to look after their children and siblings more? Yes, of course but we may not know what's bothering them if we don't get to talk to them or give them the time of day to let out their problems. (maybe if the have this free online storage to dump in their burdens to, it might help them unpack and feel lighter )

I believe what these kind of people need is someone to REALLY LISTEN to them and all. Not someone  who will judge them and control them BUT to UNDERSTAND what they are going through.

God Will Publish Your Love Story

As what was said : " We are the architects of our own future! " All those dreams and ambitions can  be attained by having perseverance and hard work.  But above it all, God designs the blue print and one thing more, He is the mighty author of each and everyone's love story! (this post reaches out to all and  not just those believers  for whatever religion or sect you may belong to, we know that there is a Supreme Being looking out for all of us)

I would share with you below a post from Aileen Santos of Relationships and  Life ReInvention  Coaching here in the Philippines ::


"Dear Singles:

YES!

God *IS DEFINITELY* writing YOUR LOVE STORY!

But sometimes there are reasons why
you can't see this happening yet:

1) You could still be HOLDING ON
to an OLD CHAPTER of the story;
you're afraid to LET GO, and
it's preventing you from turning
to the next new page.

2) God has already written something
about the way you need to GO
or the way you need to GROW
... and you haven't followed
that part of the story yet. Or

3) You keep taking the pen from HIM,
insisting on your own version
of what you want to happen.

Yes, God IS DEFINITELY writing your love story.

But you have to find out what YOU need to do
to actively live out your part in the tale."

Whether we may agree or not with the above mentioned factors, we couldn't deny the fact that she has some points there.

Those who cannot totally move on from past failed relationships find it hard to find the One for them. Or if they have met someone, they aren't healed yet of the past hurts and can even have this rebound thing which is unfair to both parties. End the old chapter, don't turn around the pages again but if you have to, just reminisce the good 'ol memories it has brought to your life and how it has changed you as a person.Then you can proceed to the next  chapter of your life about to unfold! (you can even set your plan first more so like a business plan service on how to meet the One out there)

Chain of events can happen but all these failures and heartaches along the way help to mold you into a stronger individual, to help you grow. When one fine day comes and you're all set bumping into the One, you can fully enjoy the moment as you are now WHOLE as a person. BUT love yourself first! GROW as your own individual and enjoy life. You can have so much more to offer to your prospective relationship this way.

The third reason perfectly describes quite a number of us who force things to occur even if we know it ain't  meant to happen or is not really for them in the first place. Yes, it's true that we search for our own HAPPINESS  but if it's not in the cards, acceptance along the way is needed and we opt to just move on to the next one that comes along that is truly meant to be for us. Also, for every person that comes into your life, there is a corresponding purpose behind meeting them at the crossroads, don't you think so?

Ever heard the famous cliche : " Each one of us have our own match." ? If you believe in this, you'd still have high hopes that one day, you would ultimately find yours, too.

BUT as in the last line says, as we are the characters/artists in this novel called life, we have to do our "roles" and perform well on the stage - we should know what/who we really want in life and the kind of partner we intend to be with the rest of our lives.The One whom we will commit ourselves with.

And one more important thing - LOVE is given freely, not to be begged for and is not selfish. If we ultimately search for someone who can just fill in the empty spaces in our lives, someone who will make us happy, ( notice if it's always  "someone who can..." "someone who will..", instead of "someone I can..." and "someone whom I can share.."), we are just satisfying OUR own selfish desires rather than giving LOVE away like a gift.